3 excellent ways to raise a healthy competitive spirit in your toddler!
– Competitive spirit – a winner will beat… whom?
We generally teach children that the winners are those who achieve the best result, in any case, better results in comparison to others. We teach them the perseverance, the dedication, and the fighting spirit. The most psychologists today think that development of the competitive spirit is a basis for the development of ambition and that is an important prerequisite for life success. But is that really so?
Developmental psychologist, Peter Gray at Boston College has a slightly different opinion. He believes that the free child’s play is crucial for overcoming the innate instinct to aggression and domination. He specifically mentions that this is game free of competitive spirit.
As a parent, I’m not for overcoming the competitive spirit, on the contrary. But think that we should direct it. So, whom winner should beat? Rather than teach children to be better than others, I encourage them to be better than themselves yesterday, to be the best they could be! This is applicable and to a very young children. Occasionally the young mothers find themselves in the trap of comparing their child with children from the area, and this can be frustrating! Instead, think about growing up your children as the continuous progress in all fields, because it is the truth. In the period between 1-3 years kids daily overcoming new skills. Take advantage of this!
– Oops, children are like monkeys ?!
Your toddler, like all the other toddlers in the world, is acting like a monkey from a joke: the toddler sees – the toddler does. How as the parents, you are the most important role model pay attention to the manifestations of competitive spirit in everyday life. Are you angry while watching a ball game or you just don’t know to lose? Do you really believe that it is important to participate or you think that only victory counts? All these and many other messages are subconsciously imprinted in the minds of your child, and shaping it. So when you ask yourself how you want to direct the competitive spirit of your child, ask yourself and what kind of message are you sending to him.
Sentences that you should avoid
The man is a social animal and has a need for self-realization and self-affirmation in the company of other people. Make it easy for your toddler exploring the world and finding his place in it by avoiding pointless comparisons. And this is the trap that most often fall the young parents. Namely, how children are progressing daily, at an early age that progress is visible, and visible is differences among children. Regardless of whether the comparison with children of your friends, relatives and neighbors goes in favor of your child, or not, be sure to avoid the sentences: How / why you can’t / don’t dare something, when Jane / Mark can do that a long time ago. .. or avoid to praise your toddler because someone else’s child is not capable for the same – Excellent, you did it, and Tom can not!
When you praising a child, praise him for his efforts, rather than for progress made, otherwise the child may grow up with belief that you’re either good or bad and that things are as they are, rather unchanging. And that simply is not true. Everyone is good at something and no one is quite good in everything, even if it looks like. For all the valuable things in life, it is necessary to invest a lot of effort, but the hard work always pays off!!!
Enjoy growing up !!!